welcome
to yoururl.blogspot.com
be my escape- relient k
I’ve given up on giving up slowly, I’m blending in so
You won’t even know me apart from this whole world that shares my fate
This one last bullet you mention is my one last shot at redemption
because I know to live you must give your life away
And I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I’m giving up on doing this alone now
Cause I’ve failed and I’m ready to be shown how
He’s told me the way and I’m trying to get there
And this life sentence that I’m serving
I admit that I’m every bit deserving
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while You hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I gotta get outta here
Cause I’m afraid that this complacency is something I can’t shake
I gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging You to be my escape.
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for You to do what You can with me
But I can’t ask You to give what You already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here
I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here
And I’m begging You, I’m begging You, I’m begging
You to be my escape.
I fought You for so long
I should have let You in
Oh how we regret those things we do
And all I was trying to do was save my own skin
But so were You
So were You
Friday, August 26, 2005
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It's been a while, an awfully long while.
And in all the time that I've spent waiting and hoping for something to happen, I've learnt that disappointments are a part and parcel of everyday life. I've learnt that lip service is something unavoidable, and all promises and sweet words mean something only as long as their expiry date. I've learnt that as time passes, all your hopes and dreams will slowly fade away.
16 months ago, I had hoped to be a best friend.
12 months ago, a good friend.
8 months ago, a friend.
4 months ago, an aquaintance.
4 months later, nothing. I no longer habour any high hopes of friendship for the two of us, as much as it hurts me to say this out loud. To confirm what I suspect has been a long time coming. Normally, I would have gone around in circles and riddles, hoping to be able to express myself without anyone having a clue about who I'm talking about. Trying to salvage whatever was left, willing to scrap the bottom of the tub for any leftovers. But this time, I see no sense in trying to hide all these...thoughts that's been festering inside of me.
The past 16 months have been filled with gaps of many many months, in which I, quite honestly, had no idea of anything that was going on other than my schoolwork, my life and my friends. No idea of what people had been talking about, no idea of what you've heard about me. Seems ironic now that we used to talk of stupid and naive people that believe in whatever others said without any considerations for the truth, for it is not without shame that I raise my hand and find myself guilty of double standards. So many things I've heard and accepted without thought about you, so many warped and twisted truths that have caused me to laugh, to tear. Then again I'm sure, that you've been guilty of the same.
But before we go off topic, this isn't about pointing fingers or about who's to blame for all the subsequent disasterous events. This is about...closure. Quite honestly, friends I hope we can one day still be, but should the day never come, then allow me, to say that I'm sincerely happy that you've found happiness, to ask you to takecare and to tell you that I hope you will never forget the day our lives crossed paths, and everything that happened after that. Love.
